The Babylon Bee — March 9, 2020

SATIRE

Excerpt:

MARTHA’S VINEYARD, MA—From his seaside mansion, former president Barack Obama announced today that he is formally passing ownership of the stock market and economy on to President Trump.

“All the gains were mine — Trump didn’t build that — but this crash is all on Trump,” Obama said as he admired the ocean, which will consume his home in fewer than twelve years. “My responsibility for the great economic gains in this country ended the moment the stocks started to tank this morning.”

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View the complete article including image at:

https://babylonbee.com/news/obama-walks-back-comments-about-being-responsible-for-the-stock-market

Well Bernie you will still have YOUR PRIVATE JETS…cause nothing & no one will force you to fly with the LITTLE PEOPLE!!!! pic.twitter.com/gZwyvbdazp

— Victoria Cloyes (@CloyesVictoria) March 6, 2020

What’s a contested convention, and what would it mean for the 2020 race?

… It’s rare. It’s dramatic. It’s ugly. Let’s explore this more in the context of 2020. –– https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2020/03/04/whats-contested-convention-what-does-it-mean-2020-race/

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IF a Contested Convention occurs, will our former FLOTUS ACCEPT THE VP DECISION on a Joe Biden/Michelle Obama ticket for the November election?

My suggested alternatives she will be considering:

(1) Michelle chooses NO! — She has too much future ‘personal vulnerability’ with a majority of our active, finally-enlightened American public to risk it. However, in this case, I think a most-certainly-reelected Trump will work quietly behind the scenes to expose both Barack and Michelle as FRAUDS and IMPOSTERS. When Trump is hit, history shows conclusively he always hits his attackers back MUCH HARDER.

(2) Michelle chooses YES! — I believe the Biden/Obama ticket is probably the only one that the Democrats could possibly use to beat President Trump in November. Unfortunately, due to the MSM-SUPPORTED POPULARITY OF MICHELLE and America’s current obsession with IDENTITY POLITICS, it likely would be a close race. If the Trump/Pence ticket manages to beat the Biden/Obama ticket in November, Trump will be in a very good position to expose Barack and Michell as Frauds, However, if the Biden/Obama ticket beats the Trump/Pence ticket, both the Obamas could receive a pass to ESCAPE JUSTICE FOREVER — IMO – A VERY BAD, DANGEROUS and SCARY situation with far-reaching consequences!

CONCLUSION: If the opportunity arises, I think Michelle Obama will make the logical choice, take a chance on fate, and choose to answer ‘YES’ to the Democrats offer of the VP slot!

Thank you all for the kind wishes! I’m feeling great today and my staff & I remain asymptomatic.

We may be quarantined, but our work continues! In fact, I just introduced the Crypto-Currency Act of 2020, a bill that my team has worked hard on over the past several months. pic.twitter.com/jaD9CakYqq

— Rep. Paul Gosar, DDS (@RepGosar) March 9, 2020

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US Congressman Introduces Crypto-Currency Act of 2020

COINTELEGRAPH, by Kollen Post — March 8, 2020

https://cointelegraph.com/news/us-congressman-introduces-crypto-currency-act-of-2020

The Obama/Biden Administration is the most corrupt Administration in the history of our Country!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 9, 2020

SOMETIMES OLD NEWS IS NEW NEWS

The Post & Email, by Sharon Rondeau — March 8, 2020

Excerpt:

(Mar. 8, 2020) — In a surprising development, nearly every P&E reader over Saturday and Sunday accessed our September 17, 2019 article titled, “AP Reads its Own Story on ‘Kenyan-Born’ Obama.

”Written nearly six months ago, the column reported that on that day, a reader with an “Associated Press” IP opened The Post & Email’s October 14, 2009 article titled, “AP declares Obama ‘Kenyan-Born’!”

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View the complete article including image, links and comments at:

https://www.thepostemail.com/2020/03/08/kenyan-born-obama-article-goes-viral/

"Immigrants" backed by Turkish police are trying to break the fence and illegally enter to Europe. #GreeceUnderAttack #Greece pic.twitter.com/bS6StQ6Uqe

— Nic 🇬🇷 (@NicAthens) March 8, 2020

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On an eastern frontier of the European Union, people are whisked back to Turkey before they can claim asylum in Greece. –

https://www.thenewhumanitarian.org/special-report/2018/10/08/refugee-pushbacks-across-turkey-greece-border-Evros

Italy lock down🇮🇹

– Lombardy (includes Milan)
– Venice
– Treviso
– Modena
– Padua
– Parma
– Vercelli
– Piacenza
– Verbano-Cusio-Ossala
– Reggio Emilia
– Novara
– Rimini
– Asti
– Pesaro and Urbino
– Alessandria

16 million people in lock down.

No one can enter or leave.

— PeterSweden (@PeterSweden7) March 8, 2020

People in Hong Kong are coming out everywhere. After 2 months of fear and caution data shows more people in HK died from flu than caught coronavirus. Companies getting back to work. #coronavirushoax pic.twitter.com/nO7qYcFq7y

— Joe Hoft (@joehoft) March 8, 2020

ZeroHedge, by Tyler Durden — March 6, 2020

Excerpt:

To say that moves in the US stock market have been erratic in the past two weeks would be a prodigious understatement: with the Dow Jones swinging by over 1,000 points on nearly 5 occasions in the past two weeks (today’s 970 point move would have been the fifth)…

... traders – holding on for dear life in a market rollercoaster the likes of which have not been seen in years – have given up trying to make sense, and are just praying they don’t lose all their money. “When you have a 4.5% up day in the market and a 2% down day – what does that mean?” Kathryn Kaminski of AlphaSimplex Group told Bloomberg. “It just means we don’t know what’s going on.”

And while futures continue to slide amid a surge in US coronavirus cases late on Thursday with over 2,000 New Yorkers now having self-quarantined, and emboldening what little is left of the bears – recall that heading into this week, single stock/ETF short interest was at all time lows…

… the bulls, who are rapidly losing faith that even the Fed can prop up this market, are pointing to the recent dramatic rebounds in the stocks most recently on Wednesday when the S&P500 surged back above 3,124 (it is now trading well below 2,990), yet which nobody can fully explain because even though there are several catalysts for the rebound that one could point to, historically speaking none of them are entirely satisfying as explanations, and as Nomura’s Masanari Takada writes in his daily Nomura quant note, “we suspect that more than a few investors (whether bearish or bullish) are feeling paralyzed in the face of such unusual swings in the market.”However, it is what he says next that struck us as a stark admission that we have crossed the rubicon into a market that nobody, not even grizzled quant veterans, can explain: “We have also been at a loss to predict the market’s movements, and feel painfully reminded of the difficulties involved in drawing a story from nothing more than day-today changes in the market.“

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View the complete article including images, links and comments at:

https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/we-have-never-seen-last-time-market-did-fdr-confiscated-all-gold